What's more disturbing? This picture, or the fact that there are 2,950,000 search results for "head exploding" on google images?
Now time for another dazzling segment of Evan Disects the God Forsaken Stupidity of People he'll Never Meet Because He's Really Bored! Or EDtGFSoPhNMHRB for you regular viewers out there!
So first off, right off the bat, this is homophobic. In my experience, there are essentially three arguments for why we should all stone the gays:
1.The Five Year Old Argument: It's Icky! The Five Year Old Counterargument: So are girls!
Let's face the facts here, pretty much everything we human beings do, especially the things of a sexual nature, are icky. The book "Everybody Poops" is a bestseller because it teaches young children that its okay to be icky, with obligatory pictures of children of every race and gender sitting on the crap just to nail that "we're all human and we all defecate" point right on home. On the opposite end of the spectrum, some people think Ice Cream is icky. WHA?!?!?! But the song even says WE ALL scream for Ice Cream! Are you telling me not everybody poops now too? No, I am not, just driving home a point. If you find homosexuality even slightly icky, good for you. You're straight, congratu-freakin-lations. Nobody is going to make you participate (unless you're in prison). We all have genders we don't prefer to have sex with, just like we all don't like certain foods that other people think are the greatest shit since fried cockroaches. (You thought I'd say sliced bread, didn't you?)
Mmmmmmmmmm.... Delicioso!
2.The "I read the whoooole Bible, so I am in fact god now" argument: "If a man lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination and they shall surely be put to death." Leviticus 20:13.
The "I read the whoooole Bible (but mostly wikipedia), so I am in fact god now" counter-argument: "Judge not lest ye be judged." Matthew 7:1
So yeah, the Bible, which is clearly the only source of any true morality for the entire human race(/sarcasm), says that dudes who "lie with" other dudes are an abomination! So lesbians are okay right? But seriously, I've got absolutely nothing against the Bible. I have a lot against people who use it to justify their own prejudices, but nothing against the Bible, Christianity, or Judaism. But the Bible, in all its genre bending, triple A special effects glory, has a few chapters that are basically just lists. Leviticus is one of them, and in this case a list of itinerary laws to complement the big ten. Now, most of these laws have become extremely archaic, seeing as they were meant for a group of people who were living in tents in the desert over 4,000 years ago (BS guesstimate alert!). The most preposperous and recited to death by liberal pinkos like me "law" is the one that says you have to burn your house down if there is mold in it. Now I'm not saying Leviticus is necessarily wrong at all, but if you're homophobic because of the bible, you must burn your house down right now or else you are a complete hypocrite. I'm using your logic here, not mine. In XXXX B.C., they didn't have the refined "protection" we have today, so its certainly possible God's decree was a "ahem" cleanliness issue. Second, those crazy goat-sexing heathens ruined everything for everybody back in those days, so pretty much everything they did that wasn't absolutely necessary to the survival of a human being was banned in one way or another. But most importantly of all, this is the Old Testament. And while the Old Testament is still considered the supreme holy text by the Jewish, it's not them who are famous for gay-bashing. Both parts of the bible (especially the Jesus ones) are full of stories and laws about how we as human beings are not equipped to judge other human beings for anything. Only god does that. Even if (he?) was anti-gay back in the day, who knows how he feels about this new humanity without any modern stone tablets showing up in sewers and stuff. God's allowed to change his mind, he does it in the bible A LOT. Not because he was wrong the first time, but because God's got to adjust for each generation as we slowly stop screwing goats and such (for the most part), and move on to more noble pursuits like...? And if I'm wrong, I'm going to get real with you here for a second. If God sends people to fire and brimstone for LOVE, in any of its forms, that is not a God I have any interest in serving. Send me down to hell with them.
3. The "All Gays are Serial Killers, therefore we should kill them all, preferably in a series" argument: The above post.
The "All Gays are Serial Killers, therefore we should kill them all, preferably in a series" argument: ... (Kills self)
And here is where I stop blabbing about my beliefs on Homosexuality, and get to the actual topic at hand: the Internet. When we "connected the world", we couldn't see that giving anyone in the world an audience and anonymity gives them free reins to say whatever thought pops into the deepest recesess of their dark, dark, stupid psyche. It is for that reason that I write this blog under my real name. But people think that evil, stupidity, and general perversion is okay if its "not really you". sure, we all have dark thoughts from time to time (I'm having one about your mom right now! ZING!). There was this guy Freud who found out that the great majority of these dark thoughts are just natural animal instincts we haven't quite evolved past yet. And thats okay. But then somebody invented a collective mind for the entire human race, and all of the dark, stupid thoughts came with it. People don't filter on the internet because there's no reason for them to, they think its all free of consequence. And yet, members from the biggest cesspool of all (4chan) have time and time again found people's real Ip addresses, where they live, work, and relax, and used it to asshole them right back. They even brought a pedophile to justice in a sting where they pretended to be a teenage girl. These are basically a collection of very bored teenage boys. They post porn, swear like nobody's business, and racist and sexist the hell out of everyone who will listen. But even THEY have morals. So you see my friends, there IS a filter. Surely the last ten or so years have desensitized us humans to a lot of things through the internet, and our generation has been raised on it, but there's still justice for people who go beyond the beyond and actually act on their dark thoughts instead of just posting them in all caps. So no, I don't think the internet is the end of the world, just a new look at the one that was always there. The internet is to a trained mind, an unfiltered and unabridged truth of what the human race is up to, and I think in its own way, that's kind fo beautiful. So I hope my post has been somewhat enlightening. I'm not done talking about the internet, but hopefully you'll see it from a new perspective until I post again. But yeah, it's getting late and I still have homework to do, so Bonsuoir for now Dear Readers.
This post, being long and rambling, is poorly structured and full of grammatical and spelling errors. I have no plans to fix any of it. However, the word that Blogger cut off in the post I quoted is "homosexual".
ReplyDeletethis post was long
ReplyDeleteI am a Christian but I completely understand where you are coming from when you say that a lot of Christians misuse parts of the Bible and look down on others because of it. I think that they need to be more sensitive and less over-bearing, but I also know that you have a ton of your facts wrong. If you want to argue about this anymore, I think that you should realize that your bid needs some revising.
ReplyDelete1.Well you obviously did not do your research on the Bible very well. I’m sure that you know that Leviticus is in the Old Testament. The Old Testament “lists” as you called them, were a way for people to gain access to God before Jesus had walked the earth and was crucified. The people had to follow these rules, such as the house thing, and priests were the only ones who had direct access to God. Therefore they were the only ones allowed into the curtained-off and most sacred part of the temple. But once Jesus died for our sins, “At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom” (Matthew 27:51). Now because of what Jesus did for us, everyone is able to have direct access to Him and those archaic rules do not need to be followed anymore. Do you ever hear of Christian boys getting circumcised? Or is it just Jewish boys whose families do not believe that Jesus was the Son of God?
2.The Old Testament is also not the only place that says homosexuality is a sin. In the New Testament, 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor prostitutes, nor homosexual offenders, nor thieves, nor greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” That is not even the only verse in the New Testament that states that homosexuals will not go to heaven. So even though some of the Old Testament’s rules are outdated and irrevelant, the New Testament is not. So actually you’re using your own liberal logic, not Christians’.
3.Even though you quote Matthew 7:1 stating that you should not judge, you obviously did not read onto verse 2 or 5. They say, “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” and “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eyes.” We are supposed to judge: just not until after we judge ourselves according to the teachings of Christ.
4.You say that God changes his mind in the bible “A LOT.” I would love for you to show me where this happens in the Bible, because in mine it says, “For Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). Also I believe that God is omniscient and all-powerful and that he would not write a book that he knew would be used for thousands of generations, that had faulty or outdated information. God wrote the Bible to be the truth and man’s guiding light FOREVER.
5.You also say that God sends people to hell out of love. I’d like you to read Lee Strobel’s passage in the book “The Case for Christ.” “Imagine 2 college frat houses. The first has a strict set of rules and allows in only people who have earned their membership. You have to accomplish something, get top grades, or measure up to a long list of requirements to qualify. No matter how hard they try, a lot of people just won’t make the cut. They’ll be excluded. That’s what every other religion is like, because they’re all based on a system of people doing something to earn God’s approval. But the other house throws its door wide open and says, ‘Anybody who wants membership is invited inside! Rich or poor, black or white, honor student or rebel, we would love to include you. All you need to get in is to accept this invitation.’ That, according to the Bible, is what Christianity is like. Is Christ being offensive when he said he is the only way to God? Judging by the number of people who are offended, you better believe it! Is Christ being exclusive? That’s a different question. What do you think?”
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn my previous posts (the deleted ones), I forgot to applaud how respectful your post was for the most part. You are much less aggressive and derogatory than most of the other people who respond to blogs in this manner. I thank you for that, but I still completely disagree with you.
ReplyDeleteUm, you're probably not going to respond. All of your quotes are great and everything, but you clearly have a very limited understanding of religions outside your own. Most religions promise the things you named, because otherwise people wouldn't follow them. Also, I don't think Christ is being exclusive, but Christians certainly are. It isn't your personal duty to convert the masses, and I find your comment about "a jewish family who doesn't believe Jesus is the son of god" somewhat offensive and bitter in tone. I wasn't aware of the Corinthians verse, but it only hurts your case. "Liberal logic" it may be, but I stand by what I said: "Any God who does not accept people into heaven is not a god I have any interest in serving.", you've only proved that the half of the bible that I previously believed did not conflict with that statement is just more proof of a god I don't want to hang out with. You have every right to believe in him, but I don't believe in a God like that, and I hope you can understand that people who use God to decry homosexuality are as offensive and unfair to homosexuals as liberal teenagers quoting the bible incorrectly are to you. Also fraternities is a horrible metaphor in this context.
There are some things I simply don't need a book to tell me. I learned through personal experience that gay people are absolutely not in any way immoral. My parents have many openly gay friends, and I considered them role models and wonderful people before I was even old enough to understand what "gay" was. They are human beings, just like you and I. They are being persecuted, mainly because of religious prejudice that is based on books that can be interpreted thousands of different ways. If god can't realize that, if Jesus can't, then screw them. But I think if they're as great as everybody says they are they do see that. See this for the corinthians thing: http://www.religioustolerance.org/hom_bibc1.htm